Thursday, August 5, 2010

My dad

I haven't felt like writing for a while. Two weeks ago my dad got dehydrated, he was no longer able to swallow properly. He was struggling to swallow mash and even butternut. After a week in hospital having a really high fever and bad bladder infection, my dad went for a small operation to insert a peg tube (feeding tube). He's now back at home, feeling better, but is really struggling to swallow. Last week he was chocking on a small teaspoon of jelly I gave him and chocking on sips of water is already common. I just want everything to stop, I want my dad to be well again. Since he went to the hospital his speech has become worse as well, we can barely make out what he's saying. It feels so hard, I want my dad to talk to me, I miss his voice and the things he would tell me. I'm glad that he can still say the words I love you, even if it is hard to make out. Last week, while I was giving my dad the jelly, I saw him staring as if he was far in thought and asked what is he thinking about, he seems to be on another planet. After repeating himself about 3 times, he said that he was thinking that he wants to talk again. I had tears in my eyes when he said that but tried to hide it, I didn't know what to say. I felt so helpless, there's nothing I can do to make him feel better, nothing but prayer and faith that will give him back his voice and speech. I'm just full of thoughts these past few weeks, I want my dad to get well again with all my heart!!!

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