Monday, August 23, 2010

Music and Memories

It's funny how music can remind us of some things and bring back memories. I bought my mom and dad a cd and gave it to them this weekend, it had some of their favorites on. It was oldies and songs I remember that my mom and dad used to listen to when I was still in the house. When I gave them the cd, my dad's words was "put in in". The first two songs went okay, but on the third my dad started to cry and when my mom saw that she started to cry and with both of them crying, I started to cry as well. It was a song that had a lot of meaning for us, it was not the same person singing the song as we always listened to, "My happiness" from Connie Francis, but as soon as the song started all those good memories came back to my mom and dad. (It was the new cd from "Rudi Claase and Corlea Botha.") After the fourth song my dad asked me to stop the cd, my mom and dad couldn't stop crying. Afterwards, during the afternoon my mother played the cd through 3 times and my dad wanted us to play that song on repeat, as soon as it would finish he would say "again". I told my dad that I remember him whistling the tune of the song while walking around in the house when I was still little ... he just gave a big smile :)
I don't like to see my mom and dad crying, but this was a special moment, remembering the old times and the things my dad used to do. All the songs brought me back memories that I will never forget. It's funny how these good memories can be attached to a song or to music.
I think music will always play an important part in my life and in the memories I have made over the years and its something that won't go away or fade like a photograph :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

My dad

I haven't felt like writing for a while. Two weeks ago my dad got dehydrated, he was no longer able to swallow properly. He was struggling to swallow mash and even butternut. After a week in hospital having a really high fever and bad bladder infection, my dad went for a small operation to insert a peg tube (feeding tube). He's now back at home, feeling better, but is really struggling to swallow. Last week he was chocking on a small teaspoon of jelly I gave him and chocking on sips of water is already common. I just want everything to stop, I want my dad to be well again. Since he went to the hospital his speech has become worse as well, we can barely make out what he's saying. It feels so hard, I want my dad to talk to me, I miss his voice and the things he would tell me. I'm glad that he can still say the words I love you, even if it is hard to make out. Last week, while I was giving my dad the jelly, I saw him staring as if he was far in thought and asked what is he thinking about, he seems to be on another planet. After repeating himself about 3 times, he said that he was thinking that he wants to talk again. I had tears in my eyes when he said that but tried to hide it, I didn't know what to say. I felt so helpless, there's nothing I can do to make him feel better, nothing but prayer and faith that will give him back his voice and speech. I'm just full of thoughts these past few weeks, I want my dad to get well again with all my heart!!!