Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Update on my dad

The last two weeks were bad, not just for my dad but for me as well. My dad has basically lost all of his ability to speak, even the yes and no. My dad can no longer say anything...except make noises. I think I have cried a lot these past few weeks, some days only a few tears, other days a bit more. Everyday something would remind me of something that my dad can't do anymore, something he can't show me or something that I miss.

My mom is also suffering, it's not just my dad, my mom's health is also declining due to all the stress. She still has shingles (no rash) for the last 3 of 4 months. Her arms and hands are giving in, due to my dad's weight of turning him side to side or lifting him. The arthritis is also not helping. She is supposed to get a knee replacement, but she doesn't want to leave my dad alone to go for the op., which is understandable. My moms whole day is now revolving around taking care of my dad, from taking out his teeth, washing it, sucking out the saliva in his mouth, giving him oxygen, giving him water, food and meds through a tube and a lot more.

Yesterday, it felt like I am never going to get my dad back, the way he was before and I really miss him, I miss his voice and the way he would wave his hands when he was exercising with the music on. I miss his expression when I play him a song he likes. I miss him not being able to eat his favorite food, I miss not being able to buy him strawberries and ice cream...all the things that he liked, I can no longer give them to him.

I still want to believe that God will heal him, but it feels like God is taking sooooooo long and it has made me think whether or not God wants to heal him or not and why not or why not now.
I just want to know the answer. I just want to know what is God thinking, why is either taking so long or what is the reason why my dad isn't healed yet or why is he not healing him.

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